{"id":547,"date":"2026-05-20T10:33:20","date_gmt":"2026-05-20T10:33:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/silvybrand.com\/?p=547"},"modified":"2026-05-20T10:33:20","modified_gmt":"2026-05-20T10:33:20","slug":"tiffany-and-bens-joyful-weddings-in-brooklyn-and-kuala-lumpur","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/silvybrand.com\/?p=547","title":{"rendered":"Tiffany and Ben’s Joyful Weddings in Brooklyn and Kuala Lumpur"},"content":{"rendered":"


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\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

Cup of Jo reader Tiffany Weger-Wong<\/a> always wanted to have two weddings. \u201cI\u2019m Malaysian Chinese American, and grew up in Queens, New York, with just my mom,\u201d she told us. \u201cMy dad and extended family are in Malaysia. I always loved going back to visit, because I have so many aunties, uncles, and cousins \u2014\u00a0my mom has nine siblings!\u201d Tiffany knew it wouldn\u2019t be possible for her many relatives to make the 10,000-mile trip from Kuala Lumpur to New York. But it was important to her, and her now-husband Ben, that both their families be a part of their wedding. The only solution? Have two. <\/p>\n

You might remember Tiffany from her post-proposal donut photo<\/a>. Now, she takes us through both<\/em> of her beautiful wedding days\u2026<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cBen and I met on a dating app, at the height of the pandemic. I was living with my mom in Queens, and he was in the Bronx, and we went on 10 Zoom dates over the course of two months. He wore a suit for the first one, which I thought was hilarious. After the vaccines rolled out, we finally met in person, and two years later, we got engaged.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cWe had our first wedding in 2024, at a restaurant in Brooklyn called Rule Of Thirds<\/a>. My dad came from Malaysia. Ben is Jewish, so we wanted to incorporate the traditions his family loves. Ben smashed the glass, and we had a beautiful challah that his father cut after the ceremony. We also signed a ketubah, a Jewish marriage contract, which we composed together. We now have it hanging above our bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cHosting a tea ceremony is a big Chinese wedding custom, to honor your elders. There\u2019s a very specific order to it, and it can take a while. We didn\u2019t realize just how<\/em> long, so it got very quiet, and at one point, Ben\u2019s little nephew burst out, \u2018When is it gonna be over?\u2019 which was really funny.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter the tea ceremony, the bride and groom are supposed to give red envelopes with money to their younger siblings \u2014 which neither of us has. So, Ben gave envelopes to his niece and nephew, and I gave one to my younger cousin, who\u2019s like a sister to me.\u201d <\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cWe found this plain arch on Facebook Marketplace, then decorated it ourselves. We hung Ben\u2019s grandfather\u2019s tallit (prayer shawl) over it, because Ben\u2019s grandparents are no longer alive. It felt really meaningful to have them up there with us in this way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a famous Chinese cover of the Cranberries song, Dreams<\/a>, by Faye Wong. I love both versions, but that\u2019s the one I grew up with. When Ben and I first started dating, we made each other playlists, and he put that cover on his! We chose it as our recessional song. The DJ played it right as we kissed \u2014 it felt like fireworks.\u201d <\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cI think the hora was my favorite part. It was just so exciting. Our moms were both screaming their heads off, but they had so much fun \u2014 everyone did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany

PART TWO<\/strong><\/p>\n

One year later, Ben and Tiffany flew to Kuala Lumpur, for wedding number two\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cIn Malaysia, before doing anything else, my mom and I had to go to a Buddhist temple and talk to a priest, so he could give us auspicious dates for the event. We gave him our names, our birthdays, and our times of birth, and he gave us the date of June 14th. My whole family pitched to help \u2014 one of my aunts hosted us at her house and threw the welcome dinner, and another aunt hemmed my dress and found Ben his wedding clothes. When I think of everything they did for us, it makes me cry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cBen and I wore traditional wedding clothes for the first part of the day \u2014\u00a0a ma kua<\/em> for him and a kua<\/em> for me. They\u2019re a bit complicated to put on, but they\u2019re so beautiful and intricate. The whole idea is \u2018more is more.\u2019 You want to do it up \u2014\u00a0gold everything<\/em>.\u201d <\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a tradition called \u2018gatecrashing,\u2019 where the groom and his groomsmen (and groomswoman, in our case) come to pick up the bride, and the bridesmaids put them through a series of challenging games in order to \u2018win\u2019 her. Like eating rice balls full of wasabi or doing Chinese calligraphy. And if they don\u2019t complete a task, they have to pay the bridesmaids (literally!).\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re supposed to be kind of obnoxious about it, too. I told my American friends, \u2018Just follow my cousins. You\u2019ll see \u2014 they will demand<\/em> money.\u2019 It\u2019s a real performance. The groomsmen will be like, \u2018Oh, we\u2019re out of cash!\u2019 and the bridesmaids go, \u2018No problem, we take Venmo! We take USD! Pay up!’\u201d <\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cOne of the tasks was this really complicated yoga pose. Keep in mind, it was 95 degrees outside. I was upstairs in an air-conditioned bedroom, watching on FaceTime.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cFinally, the groom comes to proclaim his love to the bride through the closed door. I assumed Ben was going to just say the English version of the standard Chinese script, but he surprised me by writing his own personal speech, and getting one of my relatives to help him translate it into a dialect that my family speaks, called Hakka. I was shocked, and so touched, because it\u2019s not an easy language to learn. Everyone was cheering, and I just burst into sobs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cAfter the gatecrashing, we prayed at the shrine in my aunt\u2019s home, and then had the tea ceremony. The Brooklyn one had seemed long at the time, but it was actually quite short by comparison. We served tea to all my aunts, uncles, and older cousins, and gave red envelopes to all the younger ones.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cThe final piece of ceremony is the bride leaving her childhood home to join her husband\u2019s. We did the send-off part, for the sake of tradition. My mom put me in the car and started crying as though I was actually leaving \u2014\u00a0even though in reality, my cousin was just driving us around the block. I was like, \u2018Mom, I\u2019ll see you in five minutes!’\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cThe second half of the day is the wedding banquet. We had it at a beautiful local restaurant. Chinese weddings are all about the food. You don\u2019t really have dancing and toasts like you do in America. It\u2019s a big, eight-course meal, and you just want everyone to enjoy themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is almost<\/em> all of my cousins. Believe it or not, I have more!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

\u201cCouples don\u2019t usually give a big speech, but I wanted to take the chance to tell my family how much this meant to me. Being a third-culture kid, I always felt a little out of place. My mom and I are the only ones in our family who don\u2019t live in Malaysia, and so to have them not only embrace my husband with open arms, but also to be so involved \u2014 so excited to do this for us \u2014 gave me a sense of belonging. I can\u2019t wait until Ben and I come back with our own children and give that to them, too.\u201d <\/p>\n

\"Tiffany<\/p>\n

Thank you so much, Tiffany and Ben. We wish you so<\/em> much happiness.<\/strong><\/p>\n

P.S. More wedding stories<\/a>, including a City Hall wedding with sneakers<\/a> and hilarious wedding-day bloopers<\/a>.<\/p>\n

(Brooklyn wedding photos by Carissa Joy<\/a>. Malaysia wedding photos by Moments by Jeremy<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

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46<\/span> COMMENTS<\/p>\n

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