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I am a Girls<\/em> girl, through and through. Centered around four friends navigating young adulthood in early-2010s New York, the show came to me just when I needed it: newly living alone in Los Angeles and freshly 25. By the time Hannah Horvath tweeted \u201cAll adventurous women do\u201d in Season 1, Episode 3, I was ready to sell my soul to Lena Dunham<\/a>. To me, she really was the voice of a generation.<\/p>\n Since the release of Girls<\/em>, audiences of young women have discovered the HBO series typically upon reaching their quarter-life crisis. It\u2019s been a constant cultural phenomenon, with clips circulating around social media every few weeks and podcasts<\/a> dedicated to analyzing every episode. The same could be said about Lena Dunham too.<\/p>\n Her name elicits strong reactions, to put it mildly\u2014even after more than a decade since hitting her peak fame. When she announced her memoir, I saw comments online like, \u201cWhy are we still giving her a platform?\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m sick of hearing about her.\u201d But I, for one, gasped and pre-ordered immediately.<\/p>\n Since watching Girls<\/em> in its entirety a few times and favorite episodes (“Panic in Central Park,” obviously) at least a dozen, I\u2019ve marveled at Lena\u2019s pen. The way she created something ahead of its time yet reflective of it, immortalizing millennial optimism and twee at her young age, made me desperate to learn how she did it. But in Famesick<\/em>, she tells a story much more harrowing than a girl making it in Hollywood and becoming one of the lucky few to live out her dreams. It made me rethink how to go about mine.<\/strong><\/p>\n In this rowdy, frank reflection on illness, fame, sex, and everything in between, the remarkable mind behind the hit series Girls<\/em> and the bestselling author of Not That Kind of Girl<\/em> asks whether fulfilling her creative ambitions has been worth the pain.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n Along with detailing her filmmaking career, from Tiny Furniture<\/em> to post-Girls<\/em>, Lena writes about her interiority during this formative decade, covering strained friend and family dynamics, relationships, breakups, and addiction. Woven throughout is her connection between her body and fame.<\/p>\n In her typical fashion, Lena writes with humorous candor and no fear of oversharing. It\u2019s pure confessional storytelling, reminiscent of a Taylor Swift<\/a> song (but more perverse). While it reflects a broader cultural reckoning of women\u2019s health being largely neglected, along with many other relevant themes, the story focuses on her personal experience as a chronically ill celebrity. While most aren\u2019t famous, many can relate to struggling with worthlessness, an aching desire to prove yourself, or your pain being minimized (if not all of the above).<\/p>\n Narrowing down my takeaways from this book was as challenging as watching Marnie sing \u201cYou can be my white Kate Moss tonight.\u201d There are so many lessons to glean from Famesick<\/em> (most of them illustrating what not<\/em> to do), but these five have stayed with me since reading the final words.<\/p>\n Starting out with the simplest, one of my favorite parts of Lena\u2019s memoir is getting a glimpse into her creative spirit and mindset as a young artist. While it\u2019s very important to note that she had all the resources, including supportive parents with connections and peers who are now some of the biggest names in Hollywood (Greta Gerwig<\/a>, the Safdie brothers), she made<\/em> things come to life herself. She sat down and wrote the scripts, casting her friends and family in her films. She used what she had and didn\u2019t think to make excuses.<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s so easy and understandable to tell yourself it\u2019s impossible. You can\u2019t just become<\/em> a filmmaker. Except you can.<\/strong> Reading about everything Lena did leading up to the making of Girls<\/em> is proof. That doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019ll be half as lucky and successful as Lena, but (literally) nothing is stopping you from trying.<\/p>\n This lesson doesn’t come from a major plot point, but it stuck out to me. If you start paying attention to how many successful women\u2014artists, founders, content creators\u2014talk about how they rose to the top of their field, you\u2019ll notice a pattern. It happened to them, not because of their work and dedication. Dunham conveys her version of this when describing how she fabricated a story about writing the official pitch for Girls<\/em>, to be given to HBO, on a cocktail napkin.<\/p>\n \u201cThe napkin story would become more evidence of the accident of my success, the radical unfairness of a world where things are handed to the undeserving. That may be true, but in that moment, I had never worked harder.\u201d Lena is extraordinarily ambitious; she was born to be a writer, and she wanted her own show more than anything. It\u2019s not her fault she downplayed it; women are taught to act coy and sheepish to be more palatable.<\/strong><\/p>\n Since reluctantly allowing them into the workforce post-World War II, the patriarchy has been very calculated in how it lets women talk about their professional desires; if you\u2019re too forthcoming about how much you want, you threaten the traditional image of a virtuous woman who is a wife and mother above all else. But if women decide together not to play by these unfair, imaginary rules, they\u2019ll get to make their own. They\u2019ll be free to unabashedly own their dreams without feeling the need to make up stories about napkins.<\/p>\n One of the main throughlines in Famesick<\/em> is the complicated relationship she forms with Jenni Konner, a writer and showrunner on Girls. From their first phone call, Dunham recounts being totally enamored with her. She idolized Jenni, calling her a \u201cbest friend, mother, and mentor rolled into one sitting in the director\u2019s chair beside me.\u201d But as the series and their creative partnership evolved, it became clear that the friendship<\/a> had strings attached. \u201cShe especially loved me when I was on my game.\u201d<\/p>\n When Lena was doing well (i.e., hiding her pain effectively), Jenni rewarded her with closeness, heartfelt text replies, and sleepovers. But she didn\u2019t hesitate to take it away. She treated Lena\u2019s ailments like an inconvenience.<\/p>\n “You don\u2019t need to convince others you\u2019re worthy of being heard. Your body knows; you know.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n This is the antithesis of how a friend should treat you: They offer support when you need it rather than pulling away, and while their love has boundaries, it\u2019s not conditional.<\/strong> They want things for<\/em> you, not from<\/em> you.<\/p>\n The \u201csick\u201d part in Famesick<\/em> mainly references Lena\u2019s chronic illness, which intensifies as her fame grows. She knows something isn\u2019t right early on but is pushed\u2014by herself and others\u2014to soldier on. In the name of not wanting to disappoint people and \u201close\u201d the opportunity she had to do what she\u2019s passionate about, she doesn\u2019t let herself rest. She acts in a scene right after breaking her wrist, hiding it under a table and putting it in a sling between takes.<\/p>\n People-pleasing<\/a> is a slow and excruciating form of self-destruction.<\/strong> Physical pain and emotional distress are a legitimate signal that something is wrong, and you have every right to heed it. Other people shouldn\u2019t make you question what you know you\u2019re feeling, but sadly, that\u2019s common. You don\u2019t need to convince others you\u2019re worthy of being heard. Your body knows; you know.<\/p>\n Getting a show on HBO at 25 was everything Lena had ever dreamed of\u2014and also a terrible burden. She describes it this way: because they took a risk on her, relied on her, and gave her the freedom to create whatever she wanted, she owed them her life. \u201cSomehow the idea of drawing a boundary seemed like bad karma,\u201d she wrote, referring to helping others who pitched her their artistic endeavors.<\/p>\n Even if you\u2019re afraid that if you don\u2019t give an enthusiastic \u201cyes\u201d to everything, you\u2019ll never get another chance, you always have a choice. You don\u2019t have to stay in a job, relationship<\/a>, apartment, or whatever just because it\u2019s \u201cright\u201d if it makes you dread waking up. <\/strong>You can let go.<\/p>\n Lena eventually does\u2014of her “friendship” with Jenni, Girls<\/em>, and the boxes she created and forced herself into. In one of the last chapters of the book, she talks about her first time using the dating apps to go on a date and hook up with a stranger. She\u2019d been out of rehab for two years, and, funnily enough, it was something of an awakening.<\/p>\n \u201cI finally understood, in some exquisite way, the cost of all these years spent dividing myself in two,\u201d she wrote. \u201cIt hurt too much, to cleave myself from myself. I just wanted to be in my body. And there I was.\u201d<\/p>\n Bryce is an LA-based journalist and freelance writer. She formerly worked as an editor at Better Homes & Gardens, covering topics ranging from lifestyle and food to entertainment and mental health. Her words have also appeared in Polyester, Cosmopolitan, Apartment Therapy, and more.<\/p>\n<\/div>\nWhat is Famesick<\/em> about?<\/h2>\n
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<\/a>\n <\/div>\n\n\nLena Dunham<\/div>\n\n
\n Famesick <\/a>\n <\/div>\n\n\n Buy on Bookshop.org<\/a>
\n Buy on Amazon<\/a>
\n Buy on Libro.fm<\/a>\n <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n5 lessons I took away from Famesick<\/em><\/h2>\n
If you want to make something, do it<\/h3>\n
You don\u2019t have to pretend like you don\u2019t want success<\/h3>\n
Your true friends don\u2019t want anything from you<\/h3>\n
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Your body is talking to you, and you know better than anyone what it\u2019s saying<\/h3>\n
You don\u2019t \u201chave\u201d to do anything<\/h3>\n
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\n <\/div>\n\nABOUT THE AUTHOR<\/div>\n\nBryce Jones, Contributing Writer<\/h3>\n