{"id":7869,"date":"2026-09-29T22:49:20","date_gmt":"2026-09-29T22:49:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/silvybrand.com\/?p=7869"},"modified":"2026-09-29T22:49:20","modified_gmt":"2026-09-29T22:49:20","slug":"do-you-ever-think-about-death","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/silvybrand.com\/?p=7869","title":{"rendered":"Do You Ever Think About Death?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<div class=\"hero-image hero-image-main hero-image-main_1 hero-bleed \"><\/div>\n<p data-image-hide=\"1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/barbie.jpeg\" alt=\"barbie movie\" width=\"1206\" height=\"757\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-368030\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/barbie.jpeg 1206w, https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/barbie-725x455.jpeg 725w, https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/barbie-680x427.jpeg 680w, https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/barbie-768x482.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1206px) 100vw, 1206px\"\/><\/p>\n<p>Now that <a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2026\/02\/02\/birthday-balloons-half-his-age-book\/\" target=\"_blank\">I\u2019m 47<\/a>, I\u2019ve been thinking more often about death. The fact that it <em>actually<\/em> happens. To everyone. It\u2019s such a wild thing that we don\u2019t often talk directly about (even on this site, where we talk about everything, <a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2024\/06\/05\/what-do-you-think-happens-when-you-die\/\" target=\"_blank\">it\u2019s been two years since<\/a>, and <a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2019\/01\/22\/thinking-about-death\/\" target=\"_blank\">five years before that<\/a>). And what happens <em>after<\/em> we die? No one knows, of course, but do you have ideas\/guesses\/beliefs?<\/p>\n<p>Before falling asleep at night, I sometimes realize, in a profound way, how permanent death is \u2014 it takes a moment for it to sink in and then BANG! \u2014 and I\u2019ll suddenly <a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2025\/12\/09\/calm-down-panic-attack\/\" target=\"_blank\">panic and need to talk about fruit salad<\/a>. Or hyperfocus on necklaces to figure out which styles I like best. Or contemplate whether yogurt or applesauce make the better substitute if you don\u2019t have enough eggs while baking.<\/p>\n<p>Fill in any number of everyday distractions to keep from realizing that death, as <a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2019\/04\/01\/funny-dad-texts\/\" target=\"_blank\">my beloved dad<\/a> says, \u201chappens to the best of us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Do you do the same? Years ago, I asked what <a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2018\/07\/31\/how-to-find-a-hobby\/\" target=\"_blank\">hobbies<\/a> people had, and a reader answered, <a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2018\/12\/19\/funniest-reader-comments\/\" target=\"_blank\">\u201cexistential dread.\u201d<\/a> At the time, it made me laugh, but now I very much relate.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>When <a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2026\/09\/15\/glimmers-bright-green-skirts-pants\/\" target=\"_blank\">my friend died<\/a> this summer,\u00a0he did leave us, but he\u2019s also so present in my mind, and of course in his children\u2019s minds, that he still sometimes seems with us in the room, wearing his beanie and suggesting we all go to the diner. I know he\u2019s gone, but he\u2019s so alive in our thoughts \u2014 make it make sense? This sensation reminded me of the late poet <a href=\"https:\/\/andreagibson.substack.com\/p\/love-letter-from-the-afterlife\" target=\"_blank\">Andrea Gibson\u2019s love letter<\/a> to their wife: \u201cMy love, I was so wrong. Dying is the opposite of leaving. When I left my body, I did not go away. That portal of light was not a portal to elsewhere, but a portal to here. I am more here than I ever was before. I am more with you than I ever could have imagined. So close you look past me when wondering where I am. It\u2019s okay. I know that to be human is to be farsighted. But feel me now, walking the chambers of your heart, pressing my palms to the soft walls of your living. Why did no one tell us that to die is to be reincarnated in those we love while they are still alive? Ask me the altitude of heaven, and I will answer, \u2018How tall are you?&#8217;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, is poetry how we come to terms with grief, with loss, with fear of death? Is loving our children and friends a kind of solution? Or should I just concentrate on that whole yogurt vs. applesauce situation?<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>If the answer is poetry, then I give you <a href=\"https:\/\/allpoetry.com\/Gone-From-My-Sight\" target=\"_blank\">Gone From My Sight<\/a> by Henry van Dyke:<\/p>\n<p><em>I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,<br \/>spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts<br \/>for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.<br \/>I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck<br \/>of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Then, someone at my side says, \u201cThere, she is gone.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Gone where?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,<br \/>hull and spar as she was when she left my side.<br \/>And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.<br \/>Her diminished size is in me \u2014 not in her.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>And, just at the moment when someone says, \u201cThere, she is gone,\u201d<br \/>there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices<br \/>ready to take up the glad shout, \u201cHere she comes!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>And that is dying\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<p>How calming and beautiful is that? It reminds me of <a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2023\/04\/24\/cornwall-england-funeral\/\" target=\"_blank\">my grandmother<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, Freddie once teared up telling me that, if he dies first, to think of this stanza from Walt Whitman\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.poetryfoundation.org\/poems\/45477\/song-of-myself-1892-version\" target=\"_blank\">Song of Myself<\/a>:<\/p>\n<p><em>I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love,<br \/>If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles.<br \/>You will hardly know who I am or what I mean,<br \/>But I shall be good health to you nevertheless,<br \/>And filter and fibre your blood.<br \/>Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged,<br \/>Missing me one place search another,<br \/>I stop somewhere waiting for you.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>My beating heart.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Now, please tell me, how do you think about death? What do you think happens afterward, if anything? How do you distract yourself from this fundamental truth, or, instead, turn toward it? I\u2019d really love to hear.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>P.S. More on <a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/tag\/grief\/\" target=\"_blank\">loss<\/a>, including <a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2022\/10\/03\/emma-straub-dad-loss-grief\/\" target=\"_blank\">the Dead Dad Club<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2015\/04\/27\/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-death\/\" target=\"_blank\">how to talk to kids about death<\/a>. And <a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2026\/04\/02\/everything-you-do-is-good\/\" target=\"_blank\">everything you do is good<\/a>.<\/p>\n<section class=\"article-meta aside-meta\">\n<p>\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2026\/09\/29\/poems-about-death-anxiety-existential-dread\/#comments\"><\/p>\n<p><span>25<\/span> COMMENTS<\/p>\n<p><\/a><\/p>\n<\/section><\/div>\n<p><br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/cupofjo.com\/2026\/09\/29\/poems-about-death-anxiety-existential-dread\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Now that I\u2019m 47, I\u2019ve been thinking more often about death. The fact that it actually happens. To everyone. It\u2019s such a wild thing that we don\u2019t often talk directly about (even on this site, where we talk about everything, it\u2019s been two years since, and five years before that). And what happens after we [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7870,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7869","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-lifestyle"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Do You Ever Think About Death? - Silvybrand Lifestyle Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/silvybrand.com\/?p=7869\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Do You Ever Think About Death? - Silvybrand Lifestyle Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Now that I\u2019m 47, I\u2019ve been thinking more often about death. 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