If you’ve simply opened Instagram in the last month, or recently invited your enthusiastic cinephile friend over for drinks, odds are you’ve heard murmurs about the seminal new movie—nay, cultural supernova—called Obsession. A small-budget indie horror that everyone and their dentist can’t stop talking about, this movie is breaking apart themes of dating, consent, and misogynistic infatuation in ways that are making even the most loyal feel-good romance watchers dabble in the horror genre.
There are so many discussion points you can choose from in this movie (seriously, it’s that good), but its dismantling of these heterosexual dating toxicities is where the internet really has a lot to say on the matter. And while it’s not super often that we Everygirls will find ourselves mega deep in horror movie discourse, Obsession’s conversations about the dating world and the male dating fantasy are something we just couldn’t stay away from.
After practically living under a canopy of Obsession Reddit threads for the past few weeks, all of these comments about men loving the internalized idea of being with a woman became so uncomfortably enlightening that I had to go see the movie AGAIN just to fully acknowledge this thread properly. Here’s my full breakdown of why Obsession’s views on dating and consent are resonating with people and how rewatching the film actually revealed just how powerful this social commentary is—all while soaking in the sweet, sweet superpowers of original storytelling. Minor spoilers ahead.
What is Obsession about?
In case your algorithm hasn’t already spoiled 90% of the movie for you, let me give you a little piece of what this sensational movie is actually about. Obsession follows Bear (Michael Johnston), an ill-intentioned “nice guy” who desperately wants his crush, cool-girl next door Nikki (Inde Navarrette), to love him back. But unable to admit his true feelings for her—and convinced his hopeless romantic heart is working against him—Bear turns to a mysterious “One Wish Willow” entity to help win her over. Miraculously for him, the wish works, and Nikki falls completely and undeniably in love with him. But unfortunately for Nikki, a manipulated love like this comes with a very sinister cost.
Why the internet is freaking out over Obsession
Already earning over 300 times its production cost since its theatrical release in May and a breakout movie directed by a 26-year-old former YouTuber, I can’t help but point out the film’s behind-the-scenes plot, which I find just as gripping as its fictional one. One of the most incredible things to me, still, is that Obsession was filmed in just 20 days, and that it is the first movie since Steven Spielberg’s E.T. to pull higher numbers in its second and third weekends in theaters than opening weekend. I recommend a Google deep dive to read more about it if you ever have the time, but it’s little facts like these that make the film’s mechanics even more fascinating.
My review of Obsession
The projection of male desire is so well-expressed
Yes, Obsession is a love-potioned horror plot. And yes, it’s full of jump scares. But you want to know something that’s even scarier than a face popping out of nowhere? The patriarchy. And the way it can sometimes show up wearing the face of the guy you’d least expect: the “nice guy.”
The real horror at the center of Obsession, and what’s really stirring the internet, is Bear’s embodiment of this good guy persona. And how it transforms into a sense of quiet entitlement towards Nikki’s affections just for being… what? nice? As if holding in his emotions and buying her one present (that he doesn’t even give her, btw) means she owes him the world. Simply because he was nice to her.
Ask any woman to read those sentences back, and you will see one near-universal head shake. Especially if you’re in the trenches that we call the heterosexual dating pool, Bear’s character in Obsession can become quietly eerie to watch. For reasons you might not even recognize at first, but then again, the “nice guy” archetype has always been really good at dressing up his red flags as romance. Bear’s trendy but metaphorical green-and-white sweater, dotted with subtle red flags (iykyk), doesn’t necessarily scream threatening at first glance—but that’s precisely why this embodiment of male desire is so frightening. It takes a minute to see it.
“No matter where your fan theories rest near the end, Obsession‘s male-dating-fantasy critiques make a very solid case for it to be one of the best horror movies of the last decade.”
Take a humorous stroll through Letterboxd and Instagram, and you’ll find seas of real but funny comments about the theme, like “nice guys are terrifying” and “men will literally do anything but confess their feelings.” And while the jokes are funny, the reason they are all landing so well is, well, because this movie was made by a man, but also because of how well the movie taps into the sinister truth behind all of them. The ultimate reality of the male fantasy is thinking that desiring someone equals possession.
Obsession is resonating with women online
God, I love women. There’s something genuinely motivating about watching us all collectively relate to a feeling that’s so often been dismissed in our society and turn it into a shared moment of sharpened solidarity. Even if it’s just happening between comment sections, Reddit threads, or me and a random account called apples365, Obsession’s ability to give us the words to talk about women’s autonomy, when we weren’t really given a language for it in the first place, makes me feel reminded of just how powerful and needed female rage is. Reading millions of women online say all at once: “women are tired” and “humans will always be scarier than ghosts” is the best thing that could happen after watching a character like Nikki become polarized for an hour and forty minutes.
Rewatching Obsession after it became a viral media sensation, I could really feel that shift in conversation about women’s autonomy happening in real time. It was no longer just my internal dialogue in a theater seat navigating Bear and Nikki’s extremely abusive relationship; it was layered with everyone else’s interpretations of the male dating fantasy I was reading about, too. Knowing what the film had come to mean for other people made the experience feel much bigger.
This time, instead of just watching the story unfold, I was also thinking about my own. Bear’s subtle distortions in desire now highlighted sudden parallels within my own dating life and what I was watching play out on screen. The subtle dialogue cues were clearer, and the language about what the film was actually saying felt more understandable. Those “beige flags” were suddenly bright red.
“If you haven’t watched Obsession yet, or you’re debating whether to head back to the theater for round two, let this cinephile make one thing clear: yes, you absolutely should see this movie.”
One of the main components that really got my head spinning (minor spoiler) was when we see Bear tell post-wish Nikki that he doesn’t “understand what’s so bad about being with him.” But before he says this, Bear trips on his words and initially asks what would be so bad about being with him. As if he already knows, on some level, that he never truly had the real Nikki in the first place. Bear recognizes the reality of the situation for a split second, but then immediately reframes himself as the victim and turns his own insecurity into a reason Nikki should comfort him. It’s such a small piece, but it completely exposed how I saw Bear’s views on love and rejection. Weirdly, it’s also my favorite part of the whole movie.
You could just categorize this analysis as me being a heavily influenced diva, but I am not ashamed to admit that the awareness of how this movie was reaching people was half of its resonance for me. I do think reading more into how desire is projected onto Nikki’s character made the experience all the more personal and expansive. Almost as if I was more connected to the thousands of women embodied by Nikki, making this rewatch an even bigger punch in the gut.
So, Should You Watch Obsession?
If you haven’t watched Obsession yet, or you’re debating whether to head back to the theater for round two, let this cinephile make one thing clear: yes, you absolutely should see this movie. What Obsession attempts to dismantle is undeniably a complicated and sensitive conversation, but that’s what makes it such a fascinating watch, and you, a culturally educated dinner party guest, for knowing why. It walks that delicate line between offering a sound resolution and trusting the audience enough to make their own. No matter where your fan theories rest near the end, Obsession‘s male-dating-fantasy critiques make a very solid case for it to be one of the best horror movies of the last decade.
Obsession isn’t an easy watch, even if I knew what jump scares were coming my second time, but it gives us a reason to keep talking and asking questions about ourselves in the stories we watch. Which is the whole point. And to my fellow mild-horror lovers who are tempted by the concept of the film but not sure they can stomach it: I have to warn you, this movie is unfortunately very scary. At the very least, I genuinely think the digital conversations are worth diving into if you’re still even a little curious about this world.
Madigan Will, Contributing Writer
As a contributing writer and former Assistant Editor for The Everygirl, Madigan has written and edited content across every topic under the digital media sun. As the oldest of four siblings, she brings a big-sister perspective to her work, helping readers discover new ways to maximize their everyday.
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