In early summer, my grandmother sent a text to our family group chat:
“SAVE THE DATE: June 14th. Tía Marta’s 85th birthday party at my house.”
Cut to the day of the party. My husband Max and I walk through my grandma’s front door, holding diaper bags and our children’s hands. We make our rounds, kissing cheeks and hugging all our family members — tías and tíos, our cousins, our parents, and the group of nieces and nephews whom our older children, Ella and Emiliano, quickly scamper off with.
When I settle onto a sofa and see my tía Mimi hastily blowing up balloons I suddenly realize, This isn’t an ordinary birthday party, it’s a surprise party.
My tía Marta married into our family almost four decades ago. She met my great tío Cris, my grandmother’s oldest brother, on a blind date while he was visiting his brother in Chicago. “I hadn’t expected our date to turn into anything,” says Marta. “He went back to California afterward, while I stayed in Chicago, and I thought we’d never speak again.”
To her surprise, Cris stayed in touch by calling her on the phone for a full year after their first date. “Our conversations were often short because he’d call in the evenings, right before my friends and I went out nightclubbing,” says Marta. “When I realized how serious he was about me, I thought, well, I guess that’s fate.”
Tío Cris saying hi to my son, Emiliano, at Cris’s 100th birthday celebration last year
Last year was especially challenging for Marta because a few months after his 100th birthday, Cris’s health declined. From spring to September, Marta did the hard work of caregiving for a sick spouse. She stayed by his side until he took his last breath.
After his death, my grandmother and tía Esther regularly checked in on Marta, inviting her to all big and small family gatherings, visiting her home multiple times a month, and helping her navigate this new stage of life. As her 85th birthday drew near, they wanted to plan a party that would make her feel extra special.
First, they filled my grandmother’s home with colorful paper fans and balloon arches. They ordered burnt almond cupcakes and a German chocolate cake from Peters’ Bakery, a staple in San Jose.
My oldest daughter, Ella
That day, as we waited for Marta’s arrival, we snacked on homemade ceviche and planned our hiding spots.
My baby, Evelynn
Once my tía Esther spotted Marta outside, right around the corner, everyone rushed to their positions with party blowers in hand. We held a collective breath as the front doorknob turned, and as soon as Marta walked in, we popped out with a hearty “SURPRISE!”
The emotion on her face, after she realized that everyone was there to celebrate her, is unbridled joy. I smile every time I watch this video! Also, how fun is the balloon drop?!
My grandma and tía Esther, over the moon that they pulled off the surprise
A few days after her party, I called Marta on the phone, curious to hear her thoughts. “I’m not one to celebrate my birthday, because it’s easier for me to give than to receive,” she told me. “But, oh, it was a very nice surprise. I hope everyone is fortunate enough to have people like my sisters-in-law in their life. I used to joke to Cris, if our marriage doesn’t work out and we split up, Esther and Loida are mine.”
Marta and her baby sister, Gloria, who had flown in from Texas
Marta with her great-nieces and nephews
Thinking back on that day, I so admire the female friendship and devotion that led to this party. I hope, dream, wish, and pray that I’ll have women in my life who will celebrate and love me that much when I’m in my eighties. It was such a gift to witness.
Have you ever planned a surprise party, or had one thrown for you? I’d love to hear about it!
P.S. 12 readers share their favorite birthday celebrations, and are you friends with any older women?
