I just finished reading the amazing novel Loved and Missed by Susie Boyt, which I think you guys would love, if you haven’t already read it…
The story follows Ruth, an English schoolteacher, whose daughter struggles so desperately with addiction that Ruth has stepped in to raise her granddaughter. You’re right inside Ruth’s mind — hearing her hopes, her fears, her everyday musings — in the same way that Elizabeth Strout’s novels drop you into someone’s brain.
Ruth’s inner monologue is funny and frank. On an annoying friend of a friend? “She was a low-level irritant, a gnat with inflated ideas about itself, a football team I would not wear the scarf of even if caught in a freak blizzard.” On growing up quickly? “When did I learn the more you wanted from people, the less they gave? Early on.” On finding joy? “She said it was important as you got older to take pleasure seriously. ‘You must grab it by the lapels,’ she said, ‘hail it like a taxi.’”
She’s also always trying to tamp down histrionics. She reminds me very much of my English dad and his stiff upper lip. For example, here’s a scene where she and her granddaughter are dealing with a staggering amount of stress, but she allows herself only a moment, even inside her own mind, of real upset and self-validation:
The other characters are similarly resolute. When her best friend Jean’s doctor recommends anti-depressants, here’s Jean’s response:
(For the record, I swear by my medication!)
I loved how the book really nails that British ethos of getting-on-with-it — and how it can both help and hinder. During an ongoing crisis, of course, it can make sense to stay calm and focus on practical solutions, but at some point, you do need to face your emotions in order to process and learn from them. I remember my therapist, during my divorce, asking me to please stop saying “onwards and upwards” every time I shared a sad anecdote. “Don’t move away from your feelings and grief,” she urged. “Instead, turn around and run through the storm.”
Still, however tightly the characters hold their emotions in check, their humanity comes barreling through. This moment took my breath away:
How incredible is that? And, for anyone who has lost someone special, don’t you agree?
I gobbled up every moment and would highly recommend if you want something to pull you right out of a reading slump.
Lastly, for comic relief, here’s a reel of British people saying no:
Have you read this book? What else have you been reading lately? And have you read any other books that captured a certain cultural sensibility?
P.S. All our book recs in one place, and two questions: What would be the title of your memoir? And what’s a beautiful sentence you’ve read?
